White Claw Introduces New White Claw Surf Flavors For People Who Want To Look Classy While Blacking Out

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Looks like these flavors might be aimed at people who actually follow the law while drinkin’ Claws.

As the first big entrant into the hard seltzer game, White Claw has always been the go-to seltzer for college kids on spring break looking to get white-girl wasted.

But look, the people who started drinking White Claw when it first came out a few years ago have gotten older. They have real jobs now and probably don’t have summers off anymore to just pound Mango White Claw every day. So it looks like White Claw is trying to introduce something a little fancier to keep up with their more sophisticated tastes (if people who drink White Claw can have sophisticated taste).

This summer’s offering for White Claw will include the brand new White Claw Surf line which launches today, containing four new flavors with ingredients that sound like something you’d order at a craft cocktail bar when you’re trying to impress your co-workers at happy hour while hiding the fact that you’d rather just be drinking a Bud Light.

The four new flavors in the White Claw Surf variety packs are Citrus Yuzu Smash, Tropical Pomelo Smash, Wildberry Acai Smash, and Watermelon Lime Smash.

Now I gotta be honest, the only flavor that I completely recognize is Watermelon Lime. I definitely know what both of those things are.

But then we get into the Tropical Pomelo, which says that it is a “Juicy Pomelo flavor blended with vibrant Citrus and a hint of Hibiscus” and I have no idea what any of those things taste like (other than citrus, I got that). I had to Google a “pomelo,” and I have a feeling all the 21-year old kids looking to get shitfaced at the pool won’t know what it is either.

So White Claw is definitely going after a higher-end crowd here with these fancy new flavors, and not just the same people who pick up a case of Mango and Black Cherry before blacking out on the lake.

But hey, good for them for trying to get fancy with it. Your customers are growing up: They’re no longer college kids trying to black out during summer vacation. Now they’re young adults with jobs trying to black out on the weekends and forget their jobs.

So I guess this variety pack is for them.

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