9 Of Koe Wetzel’s Wildest Lyrics, Including This Little Ditty About A Chicken Farmer…

A person with a beard and a hat with a cigar in the mouth

If there’s a person who’s not afraid of putting something in a song that’ll make you blink and say “Did he really say that?”, it’s Ropyr Madison Koe Wetzel, better known better by just the last two names.

And, that’s a big part of his magic.

Say what you would say to your friends while drinking, say it loud with lots of electric guitars, and wear a crop-top while you do it. It’s a wild recipe, but you can’t argue with the results… Koe Wetzel is a superstar in the making, with incredible penchant for writing catchy, relatable, rockin’ songs.

Here’s some of his wildest, made you blink kind of lyrics.

“Good Die Young”

“I’m running round like a fish with my head cut off
I know it don’t make no sense to me either.”

“Ragweed”

“Cause I’ve been hooked on those eyes, the way you smile
That dirty mouth saying fuck me now.”

“Well, she misses Ragweed like I do
And her mom already thinks I’m trash
Along with her bitch ass stepdad too.”

“Sancho”

“I’ma love her and spank her like a back up man
She says, “My husband can’t do the stuff my Sancho can”
When he leaves town that’s when I move in
And it hurts my heart to do it…

But I’m a Sancho”

“Something To Talk About”

“Take to a bar and drink like a sailor and take home a married woman
Tell her that I love her when her man walks in and puts a hollow point in my head
Later on at the funeral everyone is cryin’
I could bust out of the casket that my momma picked out
Dance all around the jolly good fellow”

“February 28th, 2016”

“Throw that bottle of whiskey under the seat
Light a cigarette so he don’t smell the weed
If he asks me to blow I’ma tell his punk ass to take me to jail
I’ve been here time and time before
Rocky Mountains Midway with every whore
In a 25 mile circumference of this damned ole town”

“Forever”

“Well I left town with a chip on my shoulder
Toting 27 dollars worth of cheap cocaine”

“Sundy or Mundy”

“Fuck your funny games
It’s raining outside and I’m too tired to play”

“If you fuck me right and leave me wrong
Then I will probably never let you go
Is it Sunday or is it Monday?
I don’t know”

“Lubbock”

“No I don’t want to leave
Y’all keep them guns up for me
But I gotta go if I plan on getting ass when I get home”

And of course…

“Post-Sellout (Song About A Chicken Farmer)”

*Disclaimer, this entire songs is outrageous. It was hard to single out specific lines, so just listen to the entire thing…

“One day he went home
And his wife was sucking some dick
From one of his homeboys”

“But I gotta question for you
Did he stick his finger in your ass?
Like you like it, like you let me do
I can’t handle it if you let him stick his finger in it”

“While my fucking wife is a whore
Why do you like to suck mean dick every goddamn night
I wish you weren’t such a whore
But I kinda like it because it makes me horny”

“Is your mom available?”

And there’s many, many more…

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A beer bottle on a dock