Let’s set the scene. A young boy is making his annual visit to see Santa at his local mall. He sits down in front of Jolly Old St. Nick himself (who’s behind a plexiglass box this year because, COVID), ready to tell Santa what he wants for Christmas.
And unlike some kids, this boy isn’t asking for a lot. No ponies or cars or rocket ships or any of the other wild shit that kids sometimes ask for from Santa. No, this kid had a pretty simple request, something that kids (and even some grown adults) have been playing with for decades: A Nerf gun.
Well apparently Santa isn’t a fan of guns – even Nerf guns, and tells the kid in no uncertain terms that he won’t be getting a Nerf gun from Santa this year.
Even when the mom tries to clarify that the boy is only asking for a NERF gun, Santa won’t back down.
“Nope. No guns. Not even a Nerf gun. Nope. If your dad wants to get it for you that’s fine but I can’t bring it to you so what else would you like?”
Santa then goes on to suggest alternatives like Lego’s or a bicycle, but at this point the kid is clearly shook that he just got told no to the one thing he wanted for Christmas by THE guy who’s supposed to bring children the gifts they want. And as he bursts into tears, his mother tries to reassure him that he’ll still be getting a Nerf gun for Christmas.
Can you imagine as a small child hearing Santa tell you that he’s NOT going to bring you what you want for Christmas? I mean, haven’t we’ve all been through enough this year? We’re in the midst of a global pandemic, mom is just trying to give her kids a semblance of normalcy in a time where there isn’t any to be found, and the ONE person that you’re supposed to be able to count on right now is Santa Claus. The last thing you need right now is childhood trauma at the hands of a shopping mall Santa.
Now, I get it. I know being a mall Santa can be rough.
Dealing with screaming kids all day asking for everything under the sun, all the while wearing a velvet suit and hat that makes you sweat like it’s the middle of summer in the Caribbean and not winter in the North Pole. But Santa really only has one job: Ask the kids what they want for Christmas, tell them they’ll get it if they’re a good boy or girl, and smile for a picture.
There’s no reason for Santa to be pushing his political beliefs on a kid who’s too young to even understand the debate around gun control. If the kid’s parents don’t want him to have a Nerf gun they won’t get him a Nerf gun. And if they think it’s fine for their child to play with a toy that shoots foam darts that millions of children have played with for decades, then they’ll get it for him. This really isn’t hard.
Sounds like this Santa has been spending a little too much time with the Grinch this year.