Some people need to just log off the internet.
Along with the 4th of July and America’s 250th birthday, the biggest story online this weekend has obviously been the wedding between Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce.
The pop superstar and the tight end for the Kansas City Chiefs tied the knot on Friday in a star-studded ceremony at Madison Square Garden. But before their big day, the couple made $26 million in charitable donations to 20 different organizations around the country, including Dolly Parton‘s Imagination Library.
If you’re not familiar with the organization founded by the country music legend, they’re an amazing organization that mails out free books every month to children under five years old. And given Taylor’s ties to country music, it only made sense for them to choose Dolly’s charity as one to support with their donations.
Well after the $2 million donation came in, Dolly herself took to social media to share a video thanking the couple for their generosity:
“Taylor and Travis, it’s Dolly, and I was just told that you two are making a donation of $2 million to my Imagination Library. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I’m blown away and overjoyed with that gratitude.”
Harmless enough, right?
Well in the video, Dolly also made an offhand joke about wanting the couple’s first child:
“Now, it’s evident that you two have made giving back a key part of your lives. So, hey, when you have your firstborn, can I have it? Because that is gonna be one special baby!”
Again, harmless, right? It’s just Dolly making a joke about how special they are.
Well some people apparently didn’t see it like that, because there are quite a few people who have taken to social media to…accuse Dolly Parton of flashing satanic hand symbols and citing this line as proof that she’s in the Illuminati.
Yes, really.
Now, I’m not really well-versed on my satanic hand gestures, but so I’m not exactly sure what all this means except apparently Dolly wants to eat Taylor and Travis’s firstborn.
Or, and I’m just throwing this out there, maybe Dolly isn’t up on her satanic hand gestures either and was just making a joke while thanking them for their donation.
Honestly, this is the kind of thing that I would have just laughed at if I saw somebody say it on social media, but then I saw multiple posts about it and realized there are people actually taking it seriously and believing this crap. And I don’t know anything about the Illuminati, but I feel like if they were all members and Dolly was really requesting their firstborn as a sacrifice she would do it in private. Can’t be making those kinds of requests in public, I assume they just send them in the Illuminati group chat while Kanye West sends anti-Semitic memes.
I just have a hard time believing the woman behind “I Will Always Love You” and “Jolene,” with the voice of an angel, is actually a devil-worshiping satanist eating celebrity.
And look, I get that there’s a lot of evil in the world. But some people just need to get outside and touch grass. And now I need to give my computer an exorcism after everything I had to look up for this article.
