Folks, believe it or not, summer has come to a close which means that we unfortunately (but also hopefully) won’t have as many “can you believe how dumb this Yellowstone National Park tourist is being” videos brought to our attention. I think that’s a good thing though, because it seems like we got through this year without any major stories coming out of the famous national park.
It wasn’t for a lack of effort though from the “tourons,” who spent most of the summer running right towards bears and trying to square up with bison wandering in the park. So as we officially enter the Fall, I do want to go back to a video that was released towards the earlier part of the year. If you had to summarize this clip into one phrase, you could very easily just say: Natural Selection.
An ER nurse was visiting Yellowstone National Park and noticed some guys near her revving up to do something incredibly idiotic. And what do you do when you can tell something is about to go down? You get your phone out and record it, of course. The two men start walking in the direction of a couple of bison that are grazing near a walking path, and right from the jump, the woman can’t believe they are testing these large wild animals.
She reacts in real-time to the situation unfolding right in front of her, and either accidentally or intentionally provides a comedic reaction:
“They’re not serious. Are they serious? Oh my God. I’m going to be a first responder.”
I’m assuming the woman was off duty when she was visiting the park, but these two guys were about to force her into a improvised nursing shift with what they were doing. As the two men continued to inch closer to the bison, one man started to reach his hand out towards it, and those in the area, including the nurse, could barely believe it:
“I’m recording this. Oh my God. Are they serious? Is he serious? Don’t…f***, dude that thing will kill you! Are you kidding me? He’s trying to f***** pet it.”
He was, in fact, trying to pet a fully grown, 2,000 pound bison…
Somehow, the guy that tried to pet the bison must have known that the woman that was filming him was a nurse, because as he posed for a picture right by the bison (there must have been a 2-for-1 deal on stupid decisions at the park that day), he asks the woman:
“You ain’t doing triage, I take it?”
The nurse, still astounded by what she was seeing, and the man’s arrogance, responded:
“No I ain’t doing triage, you’re right.”
Triage, for those that don’t know, is a process where first responders assess injuries and determine the best course of action for treatment. If you’ve ever been to the hospital, it’s the first room you go into. In other words, it was a pretty bold joke to make for someone that had their back turned to a bison…
The video was posted to YouTube with the caption:
“An emergency nurse visiting Yellowstone National Park watched two men trying to touch bison. Park rangers warn tourists of approaching the animals.”
People that watched the video on YouTube were dumbfounded by how overtly dumb these two Yellowstone tourists were being, and did not hold back in the comments section:
“These two are the reason they have to make labels telling you not to drink the paint.”
“Some times in life you’ve just gotta sit back and let people find out for themselves how dumb they really are.”
“They’re applying for a Darwin Award.”
“Never stop people who had been warned twice. It’s time they learn the hard way.”
“Stupid is as stupid does.”
Don’t be that guy, folks…
How Big Are Yellowstone’s Bison?
These massive creatures are more than just a symbol of the frontier — they’re living proof that America’s wild heritage still endures. Yellowstone’s bison aren’t just wild; they’re the oldest and largest free-ranging herd in the United States, descendants of animals that once numbered in the tens of millions across the Great Plains.
Massive doesn’t even begin to describe them. Mature bulls can weigh up to 2,000 pounds and stand over six feet tall at the shoulder, while females average around 1,000 pounds. Despite their size, bison can run up to 35 miles per hour, leap over fences, and spin on a dime — traits that often surprise visitors who mistake them for slow or tame animals.
Their thick coats help them survive Yellowstone’s brutal winters, where snow can pile up several feet deep and temperatures drop far below zero. In these months, bison use their powerful heads to plow through snow, searching for grass beneath the frozen surface — a behavior known as “cratering.”
Dangers Of The Rut
Every summer, from late July through early September, Yellowstone’s quiet valleys turn into a battlefield of primal energy. It’s the bison rut, a time when massive bulls clash for dominance and the right to mate. Deep bellows echo across the Lamar and Hayden Valleys, and dust clouds rise as rivals charge, lock horns, and test their strength in dramatic displays that draw wildlife enthusiasts from around the world.
This is when Yellowstone truly feels wild — when ancient instincts play out just as they did thousands of years ago on the open plains.
It’s important to remember that Yellowstone’s bison are wild animals — not zoo exhibits. Every year, tourists underestimate their speed and power, sometimes with dangerous or tragic results. The National Park Service urges visitors to stay at least 25 yards away from bison and to use binoculars or long camera lenses for a safe view.
Despite the risks, their presence is what makes Yellowstone truly feel alive — a reminder that this landscape still belongs, at least in part, to nature.
