We’ve all been there.
I don’t think I’m being dramatic when I say there’s no worse feeling than when the sudden urge to go #2 hits you with no warning. The sweating, the sheer panic as you plan your next move, and the possibilities flashing before your eyes as you wonder whether you have time to make it to the bathroom…it’s brutal.
One thing that don’t teach you in school is just how many times you’ll be in a situation as an adult where you’re wondering whether you’re going to poop your pants. Or maybe it’s just me because I eat like shit. Who knows.
Anyway, apparently Shaq had an emergency during a recent episode of Inside the NBA and had to rush off set to find a bathroom before he turned his pants into a crime scene.
The 7’1″ former basketball player tried to quietly excuse himself and sneak off in the middle of the show, which is hilarious in and of itself because…well, he’s a giant. But just watching him leave, you instantly recognize what’s going on. I know that walk of clenching your cheeks and hoping the dam doesn’t break all too well.
And unfortunately for Shaq, his co-hosts quickly recognized it too:
“That’s that olive oil you’ve been drinking. Hey, take some matches with you.”
Nothing like getting roasted by your boys when you’re at your most vulnerable.
After he left, Kenny Smith said that Shaq told him that he’d started taking shots of olive oil:
“He was in the back talking about how he’s going to drink olive oil to clean his gut. It’s cleaning his gut alright.”
Charles Barkley said that apparently the olive oil cleanse is supposed to last for two weeks, so Shaq better stay close to the bathroom if that’s what it’s going to do to him…
But like I said, we’ve all been there. In fact just last week, Jelly Roll revealed that there was one time where he trusted a fart onstage and ended up regretting it:
“I pooped myself one time. I did… I’m sorry. Listen, it was what they call a sh*rt. I didn’t know. I was confident it was all air. I’m so sorry, I watched this crowd go from loving me to just being completely out. I overshared again.”
Luke Bryan followed up confessing that he too had his own accident on stage:
“My problem is that I really didn’t get embarrassed about it when I did it.”
Of course, pop country legend Shania Twain also went viral a few years back for confessing that she has peed her pants on stage multiple times over the years, and Grammy winner and Kelly Clarkson revealed that she once “destroyed” (her words, not mine) a side stage trash can during a quick wardrobe change between songs.
So at least if Shaq does have an accident during his olive oil cleanse, he’ll be in some pretty good company…although I’m not sure that’s a club he really wants to be in.
