If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
Have you ever found yourself drinking a beer out of a tall glass and thought, “You know, I wish I couldn’t drink this as fast?” No, right? Well you are going to absolutely HATE this new beer drinking glass that’s out of Japan, which is supposed to make a drinker’s intake three times slower.
The name of the glass, which was inspired by an hourglass, translates to “Slow Pace Glass” in English. Why would you want to drink beer slower? Well, the scientists (or whoever is scolding you about drinking too much) would tell you that drinking at a slower pace allows for the liver to process the alcohol more effectively.
But if you are like me, I’ve never really thought about my liver all that much when I’m throwing back cold ones. In fact, the only thing better than a cold beer or a free beer is one that goes down fast and smooth. So basically the opposite of whatever this is:
Yeah… have fun drinking out of your hourglass. I prefer drinking my beer right out of the can/bottle, and if I just so happen to be a baseball game, I’ll indulge myself and have the delicious brewski served to me in a glass shaped like a baseball bat. Because that’s how we revolutionize beer drinking vessels here in AMERICA.
As you might imagine, this new beer glass hasn’t been going over well on social media. It’s causing quite the uproar, and the internet is having a lot of fun eviscerating it and making jokes about it:
What is the exact opposite of a Nobel Prize?
Because that’s what this deserves.
— RyanRuck (@RyanRuck) October 6, 2024
This is like putting a Fiat engine in a Ferarri. Makes no sense
— $AJAX FAN TOKEN (@AjaxFanTokens) October 6, 2024
just spitballing here but what if instead of a beer glass that makes you drink slower, there were a longbeck beer bottle with ridges in the neck (almost like a vortex) that shot beer down your throat at record speeds https://t.co/rus9Aa3yBB
— will defries (@willdefries) October 8, 2024
Now we need one that makes us drink 3x faster
— Antonio Finlay (@FinlayAntonio) October 7, 2024
Japan has declared war against the Midwest. https://t.co/5fVg1CGPKD
— Klein, PhD., PSM I (@KleinDaddy11) October 8, 2024
Loved the Miller Lite Vortex bottle shout out up there…
And thankfully, it appears that one of the great beer drinking minds out there found out about this glass and concocted a clever way to fix the issue of the beer coming out too slow:
Fill the bottom with yager. Fill the top with beer. Infinite yager bombs.
— Lightspeed_Outlaw🇺🇸 (@breakonthru234) October 6, 2024
