Highway Brawl Has All The Action & Comedy Of A Summer Blockbuster

Ohio road rage

Why go to the movies and pay $20 bucks for a ticket and $35 for popcorn and a drink when you can just drive along this Oregon highway and see all the entertainment you could ever ask for?

This video has a plethora of interesting characters, a unique setting (similar to that of a Fast and Furious film), and plenty of tension leading to an entertaining verbal crescendo. In order to really perform an in-depth analysis on this hillbilly throw-down, we have to first get to know the characters. I’ve went ahead and picked out and described each one you’ll need to know below:

The Belly Brawler: her taste in shirts and haircuts perfectly matches her personality, and she’s not afraid to let her belly “bark” while she’s ripping a cig and violently pointing fingers.

Kramer-Look-Alike: is that Kramer from Seinfeld? It sure does look like it, with the hair and shirt, and everything. He isn’t afraid to get confrontational, just like his 90’s sitcom counterpart.

Neon Green Dress Lady: looking like she walked into JCPenney’s and asked where the Shrek section is, there’s an 85% chance that her name is Karen, and she’s not afraid at all to call the cops.

Baseball Bro: a later entry into the proceedings, but an important fighter nonetheless. The guy must have just had a bad practice or something, because he was full of rage and ready to jump into the fight, even though it appears he didn’t have a “horse in the race.”

The Videographer: possibly the most important character of them all, since without them we wouldn’t have video evidence of this bonkers highway kerfuffle. They don’t say anything at all, but keep the camera rolling on every part of the wild roadside interaction.

Alright, so now that you know the characters, we can get into the “meat” of the story (and you can tell who I am talking about). It appears that the Belly Brawler was driving along the road and threw something out at the car behind her, which was being drove by Kramer and the Neon Green Dress Lady. The duo didn’t appreciate the belly lady doing that, which led to them pulling over and exchanging some pleasantries.

An alarming number of “f-bombs” fly back and forth between the two parties, along with aggressive finger pointing and high-pitched squeals that can only be compared to the sound of a squirrel getting run over. Just as the Baseball Bro appears in the background, the Neon Green lady sees that a camera is on her and decides it’s her time to shine.

She looks at the videographer and pleads:

“Call the cops! She threw something at our car. She threw something at our car.”

The Belly Brawler starts to say something about a group of kids, but most of it is unintelligible, or at least overshadowed by what is transpiring behind the car now. It’s unclear how this secondary fight began, but the Baseball Bro and Cosmo Kramer are now also yelling at one another. In possibly my favorite line of the entire video, the guy in full baseball gear screams at the man approaching him:

“Then f**king get in your car then! Be a f**king man.”

Then in true Tarantino film school fashion, the camera slowly leaves the Baseball Bro and Kramer to themselves and focuses back in on the two women. The Neon Green Dress Lady is still asking the videographer to call the cops, when the Belly Brawler fires back:

“Are you gonna say what you did? Are you gonna say what you did? You didn’t do nothing right? You all started swerving into my car.”

And in a classic sitcom moment (think Jim breaking the 4th wall in The Office), the Belly Brawler puts her hands next to her head and lets out a sound of pure disbelief as she stares right into the camera. She then describes the children again, who must have played into the highway fight in some way.

The chaotic video ends with the Belly Brawler driving away, and it can be assumed that Kramer and “Karen” returned to their vehicle as well, because the Baseball Bro appears to be by his lonesome at the top of the stairs.

And SCENE. Absolutely brilliant entertainment, and with this writers and actors strike going on, we really needed it. Get this group of people their own reality TV show as soon as possible.

Take a look:

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock