96-Year-Old Granny Goes Viral For Profanity-Riddled Carnation Milk Jingle: “Punch Two Holes In The Son Of A B*tch”

Carnation milk

Carnation Milk should give this granny all the money in the world…

I don’t know how well the evaporated milk industry is doing (can’t be that great), but this 96-year-old woman from Iowa named Helen Ernst probably provided millions of dollars worth of advertising for Carnation Milk in just one TikTok.

Everyone on social media is falling in love with the grandma for reciting a profane jingle that was once very popular in the the 1940’s and 1950’s. In 1946, the Carnation corporation held a slogan writing contest, and the song that this granny sang on TikTok was one that was sent to the evaporated milk brand.

Because of its crude nature, the jingle did not win the contest, though the company did love it enough to award the original writer with a consolation prize of $1,000 (which was a lot of money back in the day). However, considering that people are still singing it…77 years later, I’d say it actually was the best slogan submitted.

In the TikTok, the sweet granny holds up the can of evaporated milk and joyfully sings the dirty song:

“Carnation Milk, the best in the land. Comes in a tin with a red and white band. No tits to pull, no hay to pitch, just punch two holes in the son of a b*tch.”

@mamawroe @Carnation @carnationsocial ♬ The Old Lady Next Door – ADub

You go grandma Helen!

That is quite possibly the best thing I’ve ever seen. When social media isn’t being a divisive, anonymous, destructive warzone, it is simply the best. I, like everyone else that has watched the TikTok, feel fortunate that we got a sneak peak into the badass life of grandma Helen.

Carnation Milk was a fan of the 96-year-old’s work as well, and graciously sent her an evaporated milk themed gift basket filled with cans of milk, t-shirts, jackets, and other Carnation Milk merchandise.

Take a look:

@mamawroe Helen goes viral…. And then…. @Carnation Milks treats her like a queen!!!#carnationmilk #theoldladynextdoor #carnationmilkoldlady ♬ original sound – ADub

God bless Helen Ernst, and make her the spokesperson for Carnation Milk as soon as possible.

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock