Jimmy Garoppolo Offered “Free Sex For Life” From Vegas Brothel After Signing With The Raiders

Jimmy G
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Man, could life be any better for Jimmy Garoppolo right now?

The guy just signed a HUGE $72.75 million contract with the Las Vegas Raiders, which I’d say is pretty good for a guy that came out of the tiny Eastern Illinois University. I mean, the man has never really wowed anybody with his play on the football field, but he’s a serviceable QB that can get the job done so long as he has some weapons around him and a stout defense.

That being said, will Raiders be a good football team this year? Probably not…

In that stacked AFC West Division with the Kansas City Chiefs, the Los Angeles Charges, and a talented Denver Broncos team with Sean Payton at the helm, last place is looking pretty good right about now. But hey, we haven’t even hit the NFL Draft yet… it’d still early.

And on top of that? Jimmy G has been given another offer…

We’re talking about free sex for life from a couple Vegas brothel workers.

According to TMZ, Caitlin Bell and Alice Little from the world-renown Chicken Ranch brothel in Sin City, have offered to give the 31-year-old QB free sex for life.

Bell said in a press release:

“I almost fainted when I heard Jimmy signed with the Raiders. He deserves free sex just for joining our team. But he gets free sex for life from us just because he’s such a legit babe!”

Little also chimed in, pointing out how next year’s Super Bowl is at Allegiant Stadium, so she wants to know that Jimmy G is locked in:

“Jimmy brought the Niners to the Super Bowl and he could do the same for the Raiders. The next Big Game is in Vegas, so I’m going to go all the way to inspired Jimmy to go all the way!”

And believe it or not, this isn’t the only offer the QB has received from a Nevada brothel, as Sheri’s Ranch in Pahrump reached out to him as well, along with his new teammates for a VIP experience:

“A celebratory weekend blowout with you and a few of your new Raiders teammates to take advantage of the resort’s themed hotel suites, bar and restaurant, swimming pool, and Jacuzzi – all expenses paid, of course.

Sheri’s invites you into the VIP bungalows with your choice of on-site courtesans, as well as a special Playland with themed rooms to make you feel right at home.”

Now the question is, does Jimmy G take up these offers? It’s not out of the question, as he once took porn star Kiara Mia on a date.

I guess only he knows the answer to that one…

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