Is it really a trip to Waffle House if you don’t swing by the jukebox and pick out a few “Waffle Bops?”
The pressure of concocting the perfect background ambiance at the House of Waffles can be overwhelming, especially when the kitchen staff is throwing hands (and chairs) with unruly drunk customers, but let us at Whiskey Riff provide a step by step musical guide for such occasion.
Setting the Tone & Sitting Down
“Hello Walls” by Willie Nelson
I can’t think of a better song to set the tone as you find your way to your table for the morning/afternoon/evening (or whatever time you find yourself there).
Stop by the jukebox and send this one up to bat first and you are sure to win over the occupants of the Waffle House. Say “Hello” to the Walls that are beautifully illuminated by that iconic yellow sign and dive right into the menu.
Searching the Menu
“I Will Always Love You” by Dolly Parton
You could go with the Whitney Houston version, but it just won’t feel as “homey” as this one does in the Waffle House. Plus, as you peruse the lovely options of eggs, bacon and syrup-coated-carbs, you just cannot help but to look around and confess your love to the long running breakfast food establishment.
Pick whatever food item that feels right (more than likely the All-Star Special), and place the sticky menu back where you found it. Sit back, sip on a cup of coffee, and listen to the bacon sizzle as your next song begins to play.
Waiting for Your Food
“All the Best” by John Prine
This song works in two ways:
1. You are sitting in a restaurant literally called Waffle House, and everything they offer is all the best (maybe minus the bathrooms)
2. While you are waiting for your food, you have time to sit back and think about past relationships, past mistakes, and even some regrets you may have
What better place to sit back and figure out life? And you can be brought back from a daydream trance by the sound and smell of sizzling bacon.
By the time John Prine is finished wishing you all sorts of things, your biggest wish has come true: here comes your food.
“Fancy” by Reba McEntire
Feeling pretty fancy huh? You are getting a heck of a meal for a pretty great price. The pace of this song also helps you power through your scrambled eggs and over-buttered toast just when you think your stomach has reached its breaking point.
You might be feeling a little guilty as you finish up your meal, but that is where Reba comes in with the chorus one more time to give you the strength to get to the cash register.
You might even sing yourself “Lord Forgive Me for What I Do” as you begin to exit the Waffle House.
Payment and Exit
“Good Time” by Alan Jackson
You have certainly had a “Good Time,” but like all good things, they must come to an end. You approach the Waffle House register, you pay for the meal, tip well, and “line dance” right out to the door to the sweet, velvety voice of Alan Jackson.
It is very important that you exit the Waffle House before the song ends so that you are leaving on a quite literal high note. You graced the beautiful restaurant with your country music prowess, but you must always leave them wanting more, and you know that Waffle House will always be there to welcome your right back in.
And if none of those work for you, don’t be afraid to throw on Sturgill Simpson’s Waffle House original…