A TE Named Rowdy Beers Just Committed To Play College Football At Florida International

Rowdy Beers

We’ve been blessed with some wild names in college football over the past few seasons…

We’ve had the likes of Storm Duck, Decoldest “ToEvaDoIt” Crawford, General Booty, Hot Rod Fittin, Kool-Aid McKinstry, Bumper Pool, Jaeger Bull, and more, all who played in the 2022 season alone.

Seriously, this season has felt like that hilarious Key & Peele sketch where they disguise as football players and announce their batshit crazy names (Just check out the video below if you don’t know what I’m talking about).

I feel like if you’re born with names like these, you’re simply destined for division one football and greatness, just off your name itself.

With that being said, if you wondered how next year’s list of wild college football names was looking, don’t worry. It’s in great hands.

Why, you may ask?

Because the Florida International University Panthers just got a commitment from arguably the greatest college football name I’ve seen yet…

Let me introduce you to Rowdy Beers, current tight end for Valor Christian High School in Highlands Ranch, Colorado.

I mean c’mon, this is epic.

I’m fully convinced this dude came out of the womb with a full mullet and a can of Busch Light in his hand. Needless to say, this guy is gonna have a helluva time in college just based off his name itself (once he turns 21, of course).

Central Arkansas already has a commitment from a dude name Dude Person (Yes, that’s his name), but I gotta give the slight edge to ol’ Rowdy in this tight race.

And of course, Twitter is loving it:


A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock