Miranda Lambert On Having Kids With Husband Brendan McLoughlin: “Puppies Are Great Birth Control”

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Jason Kempin/Getty Images for CMT

When Miranda Lambert got married to New York police officer Brendan McLoughlin a few years ago, they each gained more than just a spouse.

Along with Miranda came her 13+ dogs, and for McLoughlin, he’s the father of a young boy named Landon.

“I got the dogs, you got the kid, we can mix and mingle. It’s going to be great,” said Miranda in an interview with Extra in 2019.

However, when asked if she sees more kids in their future, Miranda said, “I mean, what did I say earlier? Puppies are great birth control. Not to mention a stepson. It’s great practice but I still get to go into rock and roll mode which I really enjoy.”

“My stepson is amazing,” Miranda added.

“I’m loving that whole phase, and I’ve raised a million dogs, so I feel like I’ve got that part of my womanly/motherly thing is full, so this is a whole new journey. It’s great.”

Who knows if the couple, who split their time between New York and Nashville at one time, will be adding to their family any time soon. Well… unless she adopts another puppy which is entirely possible. In fact, we know that’ll happen.

Dogs are the best. End of story.

Miranda Lambert Once Told Her Dad To Kick A Guy’s A** For Offering Her Weed When She Was Sixteen

I stumbled across this amazing story of Miranda Lambert summoning her dad to defend her during a wild encounter right before a show when she was a teenager.

As a little background, her dad, Rick Lambert, is a big part of why she even got into music. He would take her to “picking parties” on the front porches of neighbors and huntin’ buddies houses, and eventually, helped her get a little backing band so she could travel and start singing in honky-tonks around Texas.

This included plenty of hole-in-the-wall places that were full of mischief and God knows what else… also known as the best kinds of bars.

Of course, seeing as she was only 16 at the time, she had to have her parents with her at all the venues. Honestly, there were probably a lot of them she shouldn’t have even been in being underage. But, that’s the kind of stuff you can get away with at little dives like that.

So, Rick and her mom, Bev, were always there at her early shows to make sure she was safe and taken care of.

And nearly a decade ago, she told the hilarious story to Texas Monthly of the time a guy at one of these little joints (pun very much intended) asked her if she wanted to smoke pot.

The best part is, instead of saying yes like most teenagers her age would have, she immediately told her dad and he put the guy in a chokehold on command. I love protective dads.

Rick said she immediately started yelling for him and telling him to flat out kill the guy, which I find particularly hilarious…

Drama queen’s just get each other, okay:

“Miranda started yelling, ‘Kill him, Daddy! Kill him!’

She was trying to get ready to sing, and she was pissed that someone was trying to mess her up.”

Bev chimed in to say it went a little bit differently, and Miranda actually just wanted her dad to kick the guy’s ass, not murder him:

“No, that isn’t exactly what she said.

She only yelled, ‘Kick his ass, Daddy! Kick his ass!””

Miranda Lambert Recalls Watching Jon Randall And Jack Ingram Get Into Huge Fight About “Geraldene”

If you haven’t listened to Miranda Lambert’s Palomino yet, you’re missin’ out.

She sat down with Kelleigh Bannen on Apple Music Country to talk about her eighth studio album and some of the stories behind the songs.

On the Palomino tracklist, she included three tracks from her 2021 collaborative record with Jon Randall (who co-produced Palomino) and Jack Ingram, The Marfa Tapes, “In His Arms,” “Waxahachie,” and “Geraldene,” which are still three of my favorites on the new record, too.

“Geraldene” is essentially a nod to Dolly Parton’s “Jolene,” except for the fact that Geraldene is a less than savory character whom the narrator of the song finds to be the complete opposite of Jolene, as Miranda sings in one of my favorite lines:

“You’re trailer park pretty, but you’re never gonna be Jolene.”

Miranda says the title was inspired by the movie Heartworn Highways:

“Funny enough is I just had that title, because I was watching ‘Heartworn Highways.’ Like a million times I watched it, and in that movie, Townes’ dog is named Geraldene. He’s like, ‘This is my dog Geraldene,’ and he’s showing the camera around his chicken coop or whatever.

And Geraldene is his German Shepherd. And I was like, ‘That’s a cool name.’ So we were writing in Marfa, this was the right trip where we actually decided to put out ‘The Marfa Tapes.’

But I’m with Jack and John Randall on a picnic blanket in Marfa and I’m like, ‘What about Geraldene? That’s the song title. Who’s she? Let’s write something about her.'”

But apparently, it didn’t come without a little friction between Jack and John in the songwriting process, which all happened out in Marfa, Texas a few years back:

“We’re like, ‘Okay.’ So we start. John picks up his guitar and instant magic happens, because it’s John. But something… I don’t know where it went awry, but John and Jack got in a huge fight.

One of them wanted Geraldene to be one person and one wanted her to be somebody else, and wherever we were chasing with this song. And I just was like, I got up, walked in, made a drink, a sandwich.

I was eating some pickles, watching out the window going, ‘They are still just arguing and bickering in the yard.'”

I love the entire scene this paints, with Miranda sitting inside eating her lunch just watching them out the window going at it about a made up character in the middle of nowhere Texas.

Eventually, she brought them both a beer, and tried to play peacemaker in order to get the guys to calm down some so they could try to finish the song:

“Probably 15 minutes goes by, and I walk back out there and I bring two beers and I was like, ‘Everyone should calm down. What are we fighting about? This should not be hard. Her name’s Geraldene, guys.’

And so we finally landed on who she is, and she is a little bit of everyone that we either kind of envied and also hated.”

There’s not much two cold beers can’t fix…

And I think the song ended up exactly the way it was supposed to be, with a complex character and fun production that’s a perfect addition to not one, but two, great Miranda albums.

Plus, knowing what they went through to get the song makes it just a little bit more fun to listen to:

The Marfa Tapes version with Jack and Jon:

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock