This Jacked Alaskan Moose Is Definitely Juicin’

A moose in a field

What do you feed that thing? Whole slabs of beef?

I was digging through the vaults, and just so happened to run across this video of a moose in Alaska that looks like he has taken so many steroids, that he would make Jose Canseco look like a mere infant.

Or to quote the great Charlie Sheen, a droppy-eyed armless child.

The heaviest male moose typically get is around 1,500 pounds, but you can’t tell me this one isn’t pushing 2,000. But with a diet consisting solely of plants, you have to wonder how this moose is getting that stacked.

I mean, imagine walking through the woods and taking it all in, when all of a sudden you’re in a stand off with this big, jacked SOB?

I’d hit the ground in the armadillo position and beg “please don’t hurt me.”

And look at the length of those antlers? I’m fully convinced this thing was developed in a lab, and there’s no way in hell it was conceived naturally.

 

For some reason I keep thinking about the Matthew McConaughey vs. the Ocyrus the bull Lincoln car commercial, where he ultimately decides to take a different route than stand up against that massive longhorn.

Two Moose Lock Horns In A Guy’s Driveway

When the work week is grinding you down, I always like to disconnect for a little bit and get myself a dose of some nature.

You know, something calm and relaxing to quickly get my mind right before I dive back into grind. Something like… two moose trying to rip each other’s heads off in some guy’s driveway.

This old favorite comes to us from a suburb of Anchorage, Alaska, back in 2015, when the quiet little neighborhood got a front row seat to these two moose battling it out during the rut.

They’re amped up, their hormones are raging, they’re looking for ladies, and they’re willing to fight anybody that gets in the way.

It nature’s equivalent of watching two frat guys fight in a Taco Bell at two in the morning after striking out with every female in town. Except, it’s way cooler and doesn’t end with one of them yelling, “my dad’s a lawyer.”

Check it out:

A beer bottle on a dock

STAY ENTERTAINED

A RIFF ON WHAT COUNTRY IS REALLY ABOUT

A beer bottle on a dock