Dolly Parton Says She’s Having A Breast Reduction: “I’m Getting Too Old To Be Carrying These Jugs Around”

Dolly Parton country music
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It’s the end of an era.

Dolly Parton has announced that she will undergo a breast reduction surgery soon to take one of her most famous features from a size DD to a B cup, saying in a press release:

“I have decided to undergo a breast reduction procedure and say goodbye to one of my most notable assets and iconic features.

With my 77th birthday coming up in January, it feels like the right time to have this operation done.

I know people will be shocked to hear this news, but I felt like I needed to share it with my fans, since it will be quite obvious to everyone in a few months that something has changed.”

Of course, she added some of that signature Dolly wit to her explanation, too:

“I’m just getting too old to be carrying these jugs around all the time!”

I mean, we all know Dolly’s still got it, as she recreated her iconic 1978 Playboy cover for her husband, Carl Dean’s, birthday last summer (and almost gave him a heart attack in the process), but it sounds like she’s ready to give herself a break.

There have also always been a lot of rumors circulating in the past that Dolly had her breasts insured back in the day for $600,000, but earlier this year, she confirmed that they were 100% false, so that was likely a non-issue in the decision.

Might I add that, of course, she’s probably had them done and redone several times over the decades to keep everything just so and perky (which is common for people who’ve had breast augmentations before), but it’s got to be a literal load off her back to be able to get rid of some of that extra, unnecessary weight.

I’ve heard tons of stories before about just how heavy having fake boobs can be, and they can actually give smaller-framed woman real back problems if they’re too large. Seriously… it’s true.

Dolly herself noted in a 60 Minutes interview with Mike Munro back in 1986 that she is a rather small person (she’s barely 5 feet tall), which is why she has to exaggerate all of her features.

But, as open as she is about almost everything, Dolly’s always been pretty quiet about her exact measurements, and for good reason… it ain’t nobody else’s business:

“I don’t think it’s necessary that people know everything about you. And the reason I never give my measurements is because they go up and down, it’s like, I vary 20 pounds every six months…

I’m a tiny little person, and I’m small boned, and I’m just over exaggerated. You’d be amazed to know how tiny they really are.”

Mike pressed her on revealing the exact size of her boobs after she hinted at them being small in actuality, to which she responded in perfect Dolly fashion:

“No, you can’t. Up yours, buster!”

It’s really hard to imagine what she’ll look like with smaller breasts, mainly because they’re so intertwined with her iconic image, that also includes her big blonde hair and long nails, which she modeled after the town tramp from her hometown growing up.

Clearly, it’s worked for her incredibly well in terms of being unique and creating a real and lasting image and brand people recognize all over the world.

My favorite part of interview with Mike, though, is when she told him that even though she might look totally fake, the magic of it all is that she’s as authentic and real as a person can be:

“I think part of what magic I may have, as far as my personality, is the fact that I look totally artificial, and I like to think that I’m totally real.

The people that they call trash in my hometown here in Sevier county, the loose women, well that was the women I thought were beautiful.”

Check out their fiery exchange here:

Personally, I’ve always loved everything about Dolly’s look, and like many people, find the contrast of her outward appearance and who she is on the inside completely fascinating. She’s a living, breathing example of why you can’t judge a book by its cover.

And I think it’s pretty obvious at this point that I’m a Dolly fan-girl, but it’s not just because of how beautiful she is… it’s because she’s hilarious, confident in being 100% herself at all times, isn’t afraid to take chances, and knows exactly what she wants and will go and get it.

Regardless of what size bra she’ll be buying it the future, none of that will ever change.

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APRIL FOOLS!

C’mon, y’all… did you really think the queen of country music would get rid of her most recognizable asset? Not a chance.

This is clearly an April Fools joke, and we always like to have a little bit of fun around here on this day because it gives us a great chance to get really creative.

I think it’s pretty safe to say at this point that Dolly probably won’t ever get rid of her oversized boobs. I mean, they’re iconic, and she still looks so damn good… so why would she? I’m sure Carl would wholeheartedly agree that they should stay forever, too.

Dolly even pulled a fast one over on Jimmy Fallon a few years back, telling him a rather tall tale about how she first got her boobs when she was a teenager, which is also pretty funny to watch today in honor of April Fools:

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