I hate bullies.
I know I’m alone, most people hate bullies… but there’s something that’s just so satisfyingly about a bully getting what he/she deserves. When the swift fist of justice goes upside a bully’s head, you just can’t help but drink it all in.
Like a fine wine or a good steak… there’s just something so tasty about a watching a bully get his face beat in, with the ultimate hope that perhaps said bully would learn from their mistakes and finally stop being an asshole to everybody around them, especially folks weaker than them. They say violence is never the answer… but, you know… sometimes it is.
Show me a grown man that’s still acts like a bully, and I’ll show you a guy that probably never had his ass humbled in the schoolyard. And now, you have a grown man lunatic, berating his neighbors on a regular basis.
At least, that’s what we have here.
There isn’t too much of a backstory, but we seem to have a set of neighbors in the UK, and one of the dudes (Red Shirt) goes absolutely bonkers on his neighbor (Black Shirt) for hanging a cross on the gate. He appears to be quite the atheist, going on about how “Jesus ain’t f*cking God” and that “sh*t on the gate.”
So outraged by this cross on the gate, Red Shirt continuously threatens to “f*ck him up” and then, give Black Shirt a light slap to reinforce the message…
BIG mistake.
Roll the tape….
My God (no pun intended) was a glorious scene.
It just has everything you’re looking for in a dramatic neighborhood scrap. Violence, comedy, empathy, a cool little dog enjoying the show, a funny ride or die chick calling the police from the window, a lesson learned, a bully defeated… you couldn’t draw it up any better.
Let’s break it down.
First of all, if you’re gonna be a raging c-word (his word, not mine) about a cross on a gate, you need to relax, pal. Between wars in the Middle East, a global pandemic, Brexit (that’s still a big deal across the pond, right?) and all the other shit people deal with on a day-to-day basis, you’re going to fight a guy over a gate? Grow up Peter Pan…
Clearly this is Red Shirt’s first rodeo, and Black Shirt (who seems to be speaking Portuguese with his loyal lady) has thrown a punch or two. I mean, he delivers just an all-time great beatdown on this goober. Throwing knees, throwing headbutts, knocking him out three separate times, Red Shirt got f**ked up, and f**ked up BIG time.
A hard right sends Red Shirt face-first into the wall, but he comes back for more. Another hard right, and his knees buckle like a cheap lawn chair. But somehow, he gets back to his feet, and is still looking for more.
Black shirt (who is now operating with a ripped black shirt) serves him up another helping of fist and boom, that’s all she wrote. Into the tree, into the ground… he’s gonna feel every bit of this the next morning.
Meanwhile, the wife is on the phone with the police, telling them how this crazy man “fell down,” and Black Shirt, taking pity on this pathetic loser, actually helps him up, checks him out, tries to get him to take a seat… you know, a real show of compassion for the guy that was threatening to beat his ass a few minutes ago.
All around just an A+ internet fight video. I mean, if not for hilarious videos like this, what do we even need the internet for?
And while we’re on the topic of hilarious English neighbor fights, how about these two lads going to war over the fence with wooden boards?
Priceless.
