Study Says Every Hot Dog You Eat Takes 36 Minutes Off Your Life, And I Say… Worth It

A large tray of hot dogs
Tayfun Coskun/Anadolu Agency Getty Images

Bad news for Joey Chestnut…

According to the New York Post, researchers released a new index that measures the “healthiness” of food by the amount of minutes they take of someone’s life.

The foods studied revealed a wide range results with anywhere from 74 minutes lost, to 80 minutes gained per serving. Of course things like soda, hot dogs, and burgers topped the “minutes lost” list, whereas fruits and mixed vegetables were linked to the largest gains.

And America’s favorite… hot dogs…. 36 minutes OFF of your life.

Yep… that means Joey Chestnut, the 14-time Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest Champion, and quite possibly the greatest athlete this world has even seen…. should’ve died 20 years ago?

Ok, I don’t know the real number, but this whole study sounds utterly ridiculous. And it’s it true that a cigarette supposedly takes 7 minutes off your life, how the hell is a hot dog 5 times that?

Fuck outta my face with that. Hot dogs are delicious, and if you get a high quality dog and skip that Ball Park bullshit, you’re not any worse off than a number of other popular food items.

Twitter agrees:

This guy gets it:

So let’s send it off with Joey Chestnut doing what he does best… to a little Johnny Cash.

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock