You can’t fix stupid…
According to The Washington Post, an Oklahoma game warden was looking for love in all the wrong places when his Bumble match started bragging about her illegal deer kill.
Back in 2019, when the unnamed woman told McIntosh County warden, Cannon Harrison, that she had killed a “bigo buck” on the dating app Bumble, Harrison asked if she was using a bow since that would’ve been the only legal way to harvest a buck at the time.
When she said “we don’t need to talk about that,” the warden became suspicious that she was spotlighting, which involves shining a bright light into the deer’s eyes to essentially “freeze” them.
The woman admitted to spotlighting and sent a photo of her and the deer to the warden, promoting the game wardens to arrive at her home the next day. The woman pleaded guilty to charges of improper possession of an illegally taken animal and taking game out-of-season, earning her $2,400 in fines. Her plea deal also helped her avoid further charges of wanton waste of meat and spotlighting since she only took the head and the backstraps.
“You can’t just ignore a broken law that falls right in your lap but was kind of a bummer,” Harrison told Tulsa World of his unsuccessful attempt at romance. “She said it was her first deer ever, too.”
In the end, he said that he thought it was a prank since his Bumble account says that he’s a game warden, but something tells me our “hunter” here ain’t the sharpest arrow in the quiver or the brightest bulb in the spotlight.
It’s a shame though. The poor guy is just trying meet a nice lady that he can take to Applebee’s for the all you eat riblet special, one that shares his love of the outdoors, and he essentially gets called into work. That’s the life of a game warden though, when duty calls you have to rise to occasion. Sure, he could’ve turned a blind eye to this, cast his responsibilities to the good people of McIntosh County, Oklahoma, aside, traded those buck pics for buff pics, and gotten some strange, but no, he’s a man of integrity.
In a world where we have former government employees sneaking prostitutes home in suitcases, it’s good to know that we still have good men out there that won’t compromise. Duty, honor, respect for the badge. We need more like him.
Keep swiping dude, stay the course, and you’ll find your lady of the woods. Good guy like you, it’s just a matter of time.
