We almost made it the entire month without a good Florida Man story, but at the end of the day, I knew he wouldn’t let me down.
This one comes to us from the beautiful Manatee County, just south of Tampa Bay. The scene? Sunday afternoon, right around lunchtime.
According to WTSP, a married couple began arguing after the husband dangled a burrito in front of her face and taunted her about her son being forced to move out of their house. She grabbed the burrito and threw it across the room, so he picked it up and smashed it in her face.
He was charged with battery.
The wife told deputies she loves him, and they are in counseling “because they do not know how to argue as a married couple.”
Nothing brings problems into a marriage like kids though. I don’t really know what the situation is here but it sounds like deadbeat son was finally getting the boot and dad is ecstatic… mom, not so much.
So let me paint a picture for you here… it’s Sunday, the Bucs are probably playing, we got a sack of burritos from Taco Bell and the dipshit kid is finally moving out? No wonder he was in such a good mood.
Now, did he take it too far? Yes, probably. Was it worth going to jail over? Probably not. But let’s be honest, the real crime here is this couple wasting some perfectly good burritos from the local Taco Bell. A real crime indeed.