20% Of Americans Reportedly Injured Themselves Putting Up The Christmas Tree This Year

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WHAT!?

According to a survey from Value Penguin, 20% of Americans were injured putting up their Christmas tree this year, a number that is up 122% from last year.

The survey took responses from 1,052 Americans, with the sample base proportioned to represent the overall population of America. And out of those thousand people, over 200 managed to hurt themselves putting up the Christmas tree this year. Last year, the number was around 9%.

So who’s to blame?

According to the survey, 27% of Gen Zers and 24% of millennials said they’ve been hurt by their trees, compared to just 5% of baby boomers.

Great, the future of America…

How the hell are we supposed to survive a global pandemic if 20% of the country is injuring themselves putting up the damn Christmas tree? I mean, it’s not exactly brain surgery, nor is it even remotely dangerous. And if that’s the case, how does anybody ever get the lights up without falling off the roof?

Who took this survey… toddlers and alcoholics?

Every day I wake up hoping for a sign that we’re headed in the right direction as a country and then I read this. Granted, it’s just a dumb holiday survey, but I think we can all just admit it… we’re doomed.

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STAY ENTERTAINED

A RIFF ON WHAT COUNTRY IS REALLY ABOUT

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