Red Lobster Launches New “Dew Garita” & The Only Problem Is That It’s At Red Lobster

We’ve been proponents of the Mountain Dew margarita for A LONG time.

Dubbed the Hillbilly Margarita, it’s the easiest, cheapest way to make a halfway decent tequila cocktail. All you do is add tequila and Mountain Dew, maybe salt the rim or squeeze a lime if you’re feeling fancy, but that’s it. Easy peasy.

And now, it looks like Dew is finally jumping on board the Hillbilly Marg train with their new “Dew Garita.”

Let’s be honest, the name could use some work…

“It’s big. It’s green. And it tastes even more incredible than it looks! Introducing the NEW! DEW Garita.”

My only question….

WHY THE HELL IS IT AT RED LOBSTER?

Of all the moderately priced chain restaurants in America, Mountain Dew teams up with Red Lobster? I mean, Red Lobster isn’t exactly cheap either. When I was a kid, we went there maybe once every 5 years and lobster was always off the menu because it was too expensive.

So I ask you… who the fuck wants Mountain Dew and tequila with their $35 steak and lobster combo? Who in their right mind orders that? Don’t get me wrong, those cheddar bay biscuits are fire, and I’m  not above eating at Red Lobster, I’m just not trying to get fucked up on Dew Garitas there, you know?

No, this should be Applebee’s, it should cost less than $3 bucks and you should be able to order it in a fish bowl style glass.

Can I get an amen?

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