National Parks Service: “Don’t Push Your Slow Friends Down To Save Yourself From A Bear”

A sign in the middle of a dirt field

In light of the news about Kane Brown getting lost in his own backyard and needing the police to come rescue him, why not share a little more survival advice from National Parks Service.

But instead of navigating the treacherous 30-acre forest on your own property, we’re talking about bears.

It’s a joke as old as time, but in the event that you and your friends stumble across a hungry bear while you’re wandering throughout the woods, they say you don’t have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than your friends.

Which although true, the National Parks Service wants to remind you not to push down your slow friends in an attempt to save your own life, even if that friendship has run its course.

“READ: Please don’t run from bears or push your slower friends down in attempts of saving yourself.⁣⁣”

Here’s what you can do…

“If you come upon a stationary bear, move away slowly and sideways; this allows you to keep an eye on the bear and avoid tripping. Moving sideways is also non-threatening to bears. Do NOT run, but if the bear follows, stop and hold your ground. Like dogs, they will chase fleeing animals. Do NOT climb a tree. Both grizzlies and black bears can climb trees.⁣⁣ Do NOT push down a slower friend (even if you think the friendship has run its course).”

“P.S. We apologize to any “friends” who were brought on a hike as the “bait” or were sacrificed to save the group. You will be missed.”

You hear that? Don’t use your friends as bait…


A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock