Hillbilly Dad Smacks The Sh*t Out Of Guy With A Sausage For Refusing To Sell Him Beer At 9am

A group of people on the sidewalk

Oh man, where to begin.

The details are a little fuzzy here since this took place in Ukraine, and I’m a little rusty on my Slavic languages save for the occasional cuss word and other various profanities. But I’ll do my best to set the scene based on the limited information we have.

We have our hillbilly dad that’s built like a brick sh*t house (seriously this guy is the size of a refrigerator) apparently trying to buy beer at 9 in the morning. And unfortunately for him, you can’t buy alcohol that early. Yep, even in Ukraine… shocker, I know.

Anyways, the big hillbilly dad has had enough of this skinny fella’s lip (who may be a store employee or may just be a guy that wasn’t wearing a mask, there’s conflicting stories) and he drags him outside and proceeds to smack the ever-living shit out of him with his newly purchased deli meat.

That’s right folks, he cold-cocks him with his sausage.

If getting your ass kicked by a dad in jorts and sandals wasn’t bad enough, it really goes south the when the skinny fella tried that half-assed attempt at kicking the guy in the back. He fell flat on his face. Like, HARD on his face. A big dude kicks your tiny ass with a sausage? Sure it sucks, but really not much you could do. Your uncoordinated ass tries to kick him from a ledge and you tumble down like a drunk toddler… and now we’ve a whole new level of sadness in this mess.

I mean, what happens if you land that kick? Turn around and run away when he inevitably comes back to pummel your face with his sausage? Nope, you definitely didn’t think that one through…

We might have learned an important lesson here… I don’t know really know what that lesson is, but it’s here somewhere. Let me watch it a few more times and I’ll let you know when I figure it out.

And speaking of angry men with deli meat, here’s a great scene from the 1995 classic film, Heavyweights.

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock