Drink Your Face Off With These 6 Redneck Cocktails

A bottle of liquor next to a glass of beer

Quarantine has us all drinking like the world is ending.

This list will hopefully add some variety to your home drinking activities. Enjoy. Be safe.

6. White Trash Long Island Iced Tea

What you’ll need…

– A shot of every type of hard liquor you have

– RC Cola (to taste)

Mix that shit up.

5. The Hillbilly Hot Toddy (cold weather)

A row of colorful cans

What you’ll need…

– A jug of Arizona tea, sweetened. Yes, they say you can microwave their tea and it’s already crazy sweet, so don’t worry about wasting all your honey on this Hot Toddy like I did last weekend.

– A fifth of Jim Beam

– A fifth of Jack Daniel’s

– Fresh lemon if you feel like being an adult

What to do…

1. MICROWAVE, yes I said microwave, enough tea in a BIG mug so it’s piping hot and ONLY fills the mug about 1/3 of the way.

2. Fill 1/3 of the remaining mug with Jim Beam

3. Fill the remaining 1/3 of the mug with Jack Daniel’s. A nice little topper, if you will. Take a taste? Not hot enough? Microwave quickly again.

4. Feeling fancy? Squeeze a lemon into the mixture, and drop that lemon wedge right in there to add a little extra lemon-y flavor.

Alternate method…

Pour a shit-ton of the jug tea into a big ol’ pot and bring up to a near boil. Turn off. Pour in a fifth of Jack. Pour in a fifth of Jim and drop some lemon slices in there (to be an adult). NOW THE WHOLE FAMILY IS READY TO BLACKOUT AND FORGET WHAT THEY’RE THERE TO ARGUE ABOUT.

This drink is basically a coffee mug full of hot bourbon and whiskey, with a touch of tea – NOT the other way around.

4. Hillbilly Gatorade

A row of colorful cans

What you’ll need…

– 1/2 oz of your favorite BBQ sauce

– 1 1/2 oz of your favorite pickle juice

– 12 oz of Miller High Life

That’s it? That’s it.

I suppose a splash of vodka wouldn’t hurt ya. Or four splashes….

2. The Force

A kitchen with a sink and a toaster oven

Usually this is for huge groups, so you’ll pour a bottle of vodka in a bucket, 12 Busch Lights, lemonade mix, and some energy drink to taste. A knock-you-on-your-ass drink from the college days. Given the crazy times we’re living in, this might be perfect on a slow Wednesday night for you and the significant other. Melt your faces right off!

What you’ll need…

– Vodka

– Country Time Lemonade mix

– Busch Lights

– An energy drink such as Monster or Red Bull to taste

2. Hillbilly Sangria

A kitchen with a sink and a toaster oven

What you’ll need…

– Equal parts Coke and some shitty red wine – literally, that’s it.

1. Hillbilly Margarita

A kitchen with a sink and a toaster oven

What you’ll need…

– Mountain Dew

– tequila of your choice – you can go cheap if you want as the Mountain Dew masks quite a bit

– lime wedge/salt rim if you’re feelin’ fancy, but you don’t need that extra shit

Mix it up.


A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock