Dad Of The Year Locks Out Son Who Broke Quarantine & Went On Spring Break

A group of people standing outside

Dad of the Year right here. Somebody get this guy an award… and a beer.

We’re all stuck inside trying to stop the spread of Coronavirus just so that we can finally stop this damn virus and get back to living our lives. Most of us realize that, as bad as this sucks, the sooner we stop spreading this around the sooner we can go back to a world of sports and concerts and bars and everything that makes life worth living. Most of us realize that. But some people just don’t fucking get it.

I’m looking at you, Matt Levine.

According to the NY Post, 21-year old Matt decided to ignore the warnings of his dad, the government, and pretty much everybody else in the world and went on a spring break trip with his friends to South Padre Island, Texas.

And Matt’s dad, Peter, was understandably pissed.

“I was aggravated. The news here was getting worse and worse. Matt sent me pictures of him and his friends congregating outdoors and listening to live music. It’s the scene you would not want to be in.”

Despite Peter’s pleas for his son to come home and stop being a selfish asshole who’s putting everybody else at risk and making things worse for the rest of us, Matt wanted to stay at spring break and party. Unfortunately for Matt, the police kept trying to ruin their good time (i.e. keep people safe): “We were only allowed to go to the beach in small groups and couldn’t have speakers; by then, there was basically no one on the island,”

But the police weren’t the only ones who ruined Matt’s plans. First, they tried to fly back to New York and got rerouted to Tennessee. Then once they finally made it home, dad had another surprise obstacle to their plans: He blocked the door and wouldn’t let them in the house.

According to Peter, he blocked Matt and his buddies from even coming into the house because Matt’s grandparents live with them, and “there is no need to expose them to God knows what he had been exposed to!”

A-fucking-men. If you want to be stupid and ignore the warnings, fine, but don’t endanger people who are high-risk because of your stupidity.

Peter filled Matt’s car with groceries and left him an envelope with $300 cash, put the others’ car keys on the front seat, and turned their asses right back around. And what if the guys just needed a quick bathroom break? Well, tough. “I said, ‘If any of you have to pee, we have some bushes.’ Two of them took me up on it.”

Like I said, Dad of the Year.

So what happened to Matt and their friends after they decided that their spring break was more important than the health of everybody else around them? Well now they’re stuck in their apartment back at school until their lease ends in June – because none of their parents want them home. Stuck in a college town with no open bars, no restaurants, and nowhere to go.

Serves them right.

If everybody took this as seriously as Peter, we could knock this thing out in time for the heart of festival season. But with people like Matt still ignoring the warnings and trying to party, I have a feeling this won’t be over any time soon.

A beer bottle on a dock


A beer bottle on a dock