Two Guys Write Country Song About Sanitizer Hoarder & It Probably Deserves A Grammy

When you’re practicing good social distancing, self-quarantining yourself, and doing your part to help stop the spread of Coronavirus, you wind up with a lot of free time on your hands.

And if you’re lucky, and a bit talented, free time might just lead to a masterpiece like this.

By now, most of you have heard about the Tennessee man, I mean scumbag, that bought up all the hand sanitizer, wipes and toilet paper he could find in an effort to price gouge his fellow citizens. If not, you can read the full story HERE. While the rest of us are struggling to find enough supplies to last through the next week, this clown was charging people $70 dollars a bottle for hand sanitizer.

Thankfully, Amazon shut him down, he’s stuck with 18,000 bottles, and is being investigated for price gouging, but in the meantime, two dudes collectively called Good Cop/Bad Cop, wrote a little tune in this asshole’s honor.

Titled “Family Businessman,” it’s a heartfelt ode to Matt Colvin, the hand sanitizer hoarder. And it’s 100% the catchiest song you’ll hear all week.

Oh, and I love the pajama pants/ button up combo from our lead singer here. It kinda says, “I wanna be formal, but I’m here to party too,” ya know?

A beer bottle on a dock


A beer bottle on a dock