A plate of fried chicken

First Annual Texas Testicle Festival Is Offering Live Music, Cold Beer & All The Testicles You Can Eat

What a time to be alive.

According to the Houston Chronicle, the first annual Texas Testicle Festival is coming to Bankersmith Hall in Fredericksburg, a town about 70 miles outside of Austin, this Saturday.

Battered, fried, or grilled, festival goers will be able to chow down on some turkey balls, some lamb nuts and of course, the classic veal testicles. For those with less adventurous palates, AKA the boring people, they will offer burgers, pulled pork sandwiches, pizzas, hot dogs and pork ribs. Oh, and they’re touting a wide variety of dipping sauces to dunk your testicles in.

And if you need a little liquid courage, they got all the beer you can drink.

“This event is just to celebrate the testicle festivals that happen nationwide,” festival organizer Joe Bachmeier says. “We think its a really fun event people will enjoy. Plus, it’s at a really cool venue.”

Tickets will range from $5 to $35 (I guess there’s a VIP ticket for those who really want to experience the wide world of testicle eating.)

Good friends, cold beer, all the testicles in your mouth that you could ever want, plus copious amounts of dipping sauces…. what’s not to love?

A kitchen with a sink and a toaster oven

A beer bottle on a dock


A beer bottle on a dock