How Blake Shelton’s “Austin” Would Be Completely Different If It Were Written in 2020

“P.S. If this is Austin, I still love you.”

It was Blake Shelton’s first single, and it’s still one of his biggest hits. But have you ever stopped to think how different “Austin” would be if it were written in 2020 instead of 2001, when it was first released?

The story is pretty simple: Girl leaves guy and moves to Austin. Then, a year later, girl calls him up and realizes that he’s still professing his love for her on his answering machine after all this time.

I’m glad the song came out when it did. It’s still my favorite Blake Shelton song – but it would be completely ruined by today’s technology.

2001: “She left without leavin’ a number”

2020: She blocked his number, so he messaged her on Instagram until she finally blocked him there too.

2001: “He figured she’d gone back to Austin.”

2009: He knew exactly where she was because she kept posting Snaps with the Austin filter to her story every 5 seconds.

2001: “It was almost a year before she called him up.”

2020: Obviously, she was logging into her friend’s Facebook this whole time so she could see if he was dating somebody new. And who’s that girl in his profile picture? Somebody he met on Tinder…

2001: “Three rings and an answering machine is what she got.”

2020: It went straight to voicemail. Was his phone off, or did he have her blocked?

2001: “If this is Tuesday night I’m bowlin’.”

2020: He’s at Applebees drinking dollaritas with his boys because the local bowling alley closed 10 years ago.

2001: “If you’ve got something to sell you’re wasting your time, I’m not buying.”

2020: Ok, so this one’s still pretty accurate. Telemarketers are the worst.

2001: “Well this time she left her number, but not another word.”

2020: He had her number this whole time. It showed up on his phone every time she called.

2001: “Then she waited by the phone on Sunday evening, and this is what he heard.”

2020: She’s glued to her phone 24/7. And there’s no way he’s calling her during Game of Thrones.

2001: “And by the way boy this is no machine you’re talkin’ to.”

2020: Of course it’s not. Who still has an answering machine? And who changes their voicemail message every week? I haven’t changed mine since I got my first cell phone in…well, back in 2001.

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Whiskey Riff is the most entertaining country site…ever.