Georgia Man, Florida Man’s neighbor to the north.
While the rest of the country is busy enjoying the $1 Vodka Rum Frostbites that Applebee’s will be offering for the entire month of January, one Georgia perv was busy ruining everybody’s favorite neighborhood bar and grill.
According to WRDW, Thomasville police were called to a local Applebee’s after a patron was found watching porn and fondling himself inside their family friendly establishment. Unlike airplanes, that kind of behavior is not only frowned upon in restaurants, it’s very illegal. Thanks a lot Bin Laden…
When police arrived on scene, they found Timothy Dugan, who had since left the restaurant, hiding in a nearby bush. He was charged with indecent exposure, and since some customers were under the age of 18, child molestation.
This is what happens when you start offering all-you-can-drink $1 cocktails to perverts. Start downing a few and the next thing you know, your perverted tendencies take over and instead of just filling up on all-you-can-eat chicken tenders, riblets and shrimp, and going home back to your pathetic life, you forget that you’re not in the comfort, and most importantly, the privacy of your mother’s basement. Police find you hiding in a bush, and you crawl out of your blackout on the floor of jail cell to greet the world as Thomas County, Georgia’s newest child molester.
If there was any hope of Timmy finally turning it all around in 2020, that quickly went out the window… kind like he did trying to escape the Applebee’s. I’m kidding, he probably used the door, but hell if that wouldn’t put a nice little bow on this weird story.
Happy New Year creep.
