A black record player

Idiot Homeowner Calls Police On Burglar, Turns Out It Was His Roomba

Well that’s embarrassing.

A homeowner found himself standing in his underwear in front of the police after calling for assistance when he heard a burglar downstairs in his home. That’s when the police told him the news: It wasn’t a burglar, it was his Roomba vacuum.

The Forsyth County Sheriff’s Office shared the embarrassing story on their Facebook page this week. The man explained that he was watching a movie with his wife when he heard noises downstairs and sent his wife to hide in a safe place. When he continued to hear noises that sounded like somebody rummaging through his things downstairs, he grabbed his gun and ran to hide with his wife.

After praising the police’s response time, the man hilariously explains how they call him out of his hiding place, and he finds himself standing in his underwear as the police ask him if the Roomba downstairs belongs to him. You’ve got to think that this is the point when the guy realizes what an idiot he is and wants to run and hide from embarrassment.

Turns out the Roomba was a Christmas gift that the couple had gotten a couple days earlier. The vacuum had somehow turned itself on and gotten stuck in the hallway and kept crashing into the walls. The couple decided to name their new vacuum Harry, after one of the Sticky Bandits from Home Alone.

This is why I always say I don’t trust technology. You don’t want your technology thinking for itself, turning itself on and scaring the shit out of you in the middle of the night. Robots are going to take over the world and kill us all someday anyway, and now we’re just inviting them into our houses? No thanks.

And if you have pets, you better make sure your dog didn’t shit on the floor before the Roomba tries to sweep it up and ends up painting your floors with dog poop.

No thanks, I’ll just vacuum my own floors.

A beer bottle on a dock


A beer bottle on a dock