Somehow, I missed this story from the end of October, but it was too Florida-y not to share.
20-year-old Cody Meader was arrested at a Pinellas Park Target for “dry humping” a toy Olaf from Frozen then “ejaculating onto the merchandise before placing it back on display.” This according to an arrest affidavit obtained by the Miami Herald.
He then went for round two, performing the same acts on a toy unicorn before being arrested for criminal mischief. He posted a $150 bond and was released.
Uh, $150 seems kind of low? We have a guy fucking the daylights out of stuffed toys at Target and he gets criminal mischief and a $150 bail? Cody here isn’t spray painting a stop sign, HE’S JERKING OFF ONTO OLAF AT TARGET.
Maybe take a closer look at this dude to make sure he’s not reupholstering couches with human skin in his basement? I dunno, I’m no McConaughey from True Detective but YIKES.