Before we get into this, let’s just recap the poetic words of “Swayze” so we can all “artistically understand” the depth of Zac’s creative genius. After all, in a recent interview, Zac said that it was “an impossibility” for people to “really listen and artistically understand my music.” Basically, we’re all too stupid and uncultured to get the great Zac Brown.
So yeah, here’s the chorus:
“I can’t be your Tom Cruise bitch, I’m Patrick Swayze. Every time I get a new bitch, I need a new bitch. I’m just sayin’, I’m so Swayze. ‘Bout to ghost on you, bitch.”
Anyways, for the new “Swayze” music video, Zac enlists the help of television survivalist Jake Nodar for an 80’s-inspired dance aerobics spoof that Zac intends to honor Swayze… I think?
“I’m actually a Patrick Swayze fan and the song and music video are absolutely for fun — to dance, to be absurd and to have a good time,” he shares with PEOPLE. “The video was definitely made to bring some laughs.”
Laughs? The only thing we’re laughing at is your pathetic explanation for a mid-life crisis. Really though, I love how he says “I’m actually a Patrick Swayze fan.” It’s almost like he knows this song is so God-awful that the only logical explanation for it is that the Browns and Swayzes have been feuding since medieval times and Zac made this song to defile the Swayze name and bring shame upon the entire family for generations to come. I mean, what else could it be? If this isn’t a mockery of a great man, then I don’t know what is…
I’m going to go watch Road House now and cleanse my palate.