Every wannabe influencer bozo on Instagram loves to say things like “don’t live in the past” and they drink their coffee out of mugs with some pseudo-intellectual quote on the side like “don’t chase your future with your past” and there’s a picture of an eagle on the side. Blah, blah, blah…
You know what I like to say? Fuck that noise.
The past is awesome, nostalgia is awesome, and if I could go back to 2005, me ripping down the highway in my shitty truck, windows down, some old Brooks and Dunn coming out of the speakers, about to T9 “OMW” to my new high school crush with my badass new Motorola RAZR, I would go back there in a second. Do we love Alan Jackson because he’s the greatest singer of all time? Well, yes. But also because he takes us back to a time when life was simple, those coming of age years that we’ll always cherish.
And you know who gets it? The people at Motorola.
Verizon and Motorola have officially teamed up to launch a high-tech, 2020 version of everybody’s favorite cell phone. Without a doubt, the best cell phone of all time. It’s the look and feel of 2004 made with the technology of today. How could you not want that?
They’ve tried to make a couple foldable smart phones but so far, they’ve all come out pretty wonky. Not this one. Fold it up in your pocket, flip it out in line at Starbucks like you’re a CEO from 2003, and pretty soon, you’ll finally have the confidence to say something to that cute barista that makes your coffee every morning. It’s more than a cell phone, it’s power in the palm of your hand.
And sure, you’ll have those shitty green text bubbles again, but who cares? The annoying iPhone purists will get over it in like a week.
Pre-orders begin December 26, 2019, with an in-store launch set for January 2020. The price tag is a pretty hefty $1,500, but can you really put a price on everything I just described? I don’t think so…
I mean, look at this thing.
Goodbye iPhone.
Hello RAZR.
