Woman Sends 159,000 Text Messages Including “I’ll Make Sushi Out Of Your Kidneys” After One Date

Woooo look at those crazy eyes.

According to KWCH, an Arizona woman has been arrested and accused of stalking a man when she sent him over 159,000 text messages after a single date.

Jacqueline Ades told investigators they met on a dating app called Luxy, one commonly used by wealthy singles. Ades continued to text the man, a CEO at a Scottsdale-area company, after their first and only date, however he later called the police when he found Ades parked outside his house in July 2017.

Police say Ades’ texts to the man became threatening shortly thereafter.

“I’d wear ur fascia n the top of ur skull n ur hands n feet,” one of the alleged texts read. Another one said “I’d make sushi outta ur kidneys n chopsticks outta ur hand bones.”

When an officer asked what she was doing there, Ades gave an extremely bizarre answer.

“I guess that I made up a whole scenario in my head where I live here, so I came here and pretended that’s what was happening.”

Officers also found a large kitchen knife on the passenger seat in Ades’ car…

HOLY SHIT.

I’ve heard crazy before, I’ve seen it, hell I’ve probably even dated it a few times, but I’ve never heard of anything like this. She’s got that look in her eye though. That dark arts look. Just a blank stare of nothing.

But, she does have a way with words, dare I say, poetic?

“I’d wear your fascia and the top of your skull and your hands and feet…. I’d make sushi our of your kidneys.”

A regular Shakespeare.

Honestly, I had to look up what fascia means, and I’m not entirely sure that kidney meat would be what you’re looking for in sushi, but say what you want, she’s got vision. She’s got creativity, she’s got passion, she’s driven, hard-working. I definitely see why she’s on an app for really rich people. Those are all qualities you need to be extremely successful.

Maybe when she gets out of the jail, maybe the hospital (probably both), we’ll bring her in for an interview. See if she can channel all that crazy into growing the brand.

Stay tuned…

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