108-Year-Old Woman Attributes Long Life To Champagne, Chocolate, & Playing The Ponies

108-years-old is an amazing accomplishment, not only genetically, physically, mentally, etc… it’s an accomplishment in sheer willpower. When I hit 30 last year, I could feel the immediately downward turn. Aches, pains, the hangovers, pretty much everything gets worse, so for this woman to tough it out for nearly another 80 years, it’s absolutely incredible.

How does she does she do it? Champagne, chocolate, and race horses.

According to Yahoo, 108-year-old Dorothy Flowers celebrated her birthday last week with a mind-blowing 654 birthday cards and numerous bottles of champagne. Along with champagne, Dorothy credits chocolate and horse racing as her secrets to a long life.

You hear that? You can take that paleo diet, your Crossfit, your wheatgrass kale smoothies and you can shove them right up your ass. The Fountain of Youth is found at the race track. Champagne in hand, chocolate within arms reach, and a burning desire to watch your horse, Usain Colt, try to hit that trifecta.

That’s living.

Whiskey Riff is the most entertaining country site…ever.