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Maine Police Department Issues Friendly Reminder: “Laws 100% Apply When You’re Drinking Claws”

“Ain’t no laws when you’re drinking claws.”

It’s the official catchphrase of #WhiteClawSummer

You’ve seen it in Instagram captions, you’ve seen it on t-shirts, hell you’ve probably said it 5 dozen times this summer right before you shotgunned your 3rd mango White Claw on the dock of your buddy Kyle’s lake house. Well, it’s not Kyle’s lake house, but his parents are never around and they’ve always been pretty “cool” about having his friends over to trash their summer home.

Anyways, Portland PD in Portland, Maine, wanted to set the record straight and let you and all your rowdy friends know that, in fact, it’s quite the opposite. Laws 100% DO apply when you’re drinking claws.

Bummer. #WhiteClawSummer is over…

But wait a minute, isn’t this Portland, Maine? I don’t know where that is… but when I hear Maine, I think lobster. And when I think of claws in Maine, I think lobster claws, and when I think of illegal activities in Maine involving bros and their lobster claws, I think we’re dealing with some hooligans decimating the local crustacean population. Portland PD cracking down on the illegal poaching of lobsters, not your good time. Well, maybe not… fuck if I know…

Either way, #WhiteClawSummer is back on.

Whiskey Riff is the most entertaining country site…ever.