Imagine walking out of your house and seeing your car crushed by a tree.
According to WSAZ, that’s what happened in Huntington, West Virginia when a Marshall University student walked out of her house this week. Apparently, when city employees rolled up to do some landscaping and saw a car parked by the tree they were going to cut, they just cut that son of a bitch down anyway, crushing the car in the process.
Now, I feel for this girl whose car just got crushed by some idiots with chainsaws. But there’s a bigger story in all this, and his name is Billy Tatum.
Billy’s a man who likes demolition derbies and destruction – because what guy doesn’t? Well luckily for Billy, he was sitting on his front porch (probably drinking a beer, let’s be honest) and got to witness this whole thing take place. And then, Billy got to tell the world how awesome it was watching this car get crushed.
“It sounded like a beer can getting flattened. It just was ‘crunch.’ I hate to say it, but it was kind of cool, you know?”
God bless Billy. As a West Virginia native, these are my people. West Virginians are some of the finest folks you’ll ever meet. They’re hardworking people who will give you the shirt off their back. They’re people who have probably said “Hold my beer” more than a few times in their lives. And they’re people who will invite you over to sit on their front porch, drink a beer, and laugh as you watch trees fall on other peoples’ cars.
But they’re not monsters: As cool as it was for Billy to watch, he still had sympathy for the poor girl who lost her car for his entertainment.
“The bottom line is that’s that poor girl’s new car, and she can’t get to school now.”
Leave it to Billy to keep everything in perspective.
Whiskey Riff is the most entertaining country site…ever.