Georgia Woman Fires Gun Inside McDonald’s After Receiving Cold Fries

A red cup with a yellow and red logo on it /

I mean, I think we all get the frustration.

According to Newsweek, a Georgia woman is in custody after firing shots inside a Garden City McDonald’s because, wait for it… her fries were cold.

The woman went into McDonald’s, made an order, received her order, and then returned moments later with a gun, claiming her fries were cold. She demanded a refund, received one from the manager, but then things took a turn for the worse. She fired a shot into the floor and then fled the establishment before police could arrive.

After a lengthy chase, officers arrested 27-year-old Lillian Shantel Tarver for a number of driving offenses, along with fleeing a police officer for a felony offense, armed robbery, aggravated assault, battery, possession of a firearm during an attempt to commit certain felonies, and reckless conduct.

Alright, so police are thinking she was intending to rob this place which, I suppose makes sense, but, have you ever had cold fries? It’s a nightmare.

I stopped at an O’Hare airport McDonald’s yesterday evening after my flight back from Utah and all I wanted was the sweet savory taste of a McChicken. Problem is, airport McDonald’s don’t serve McChickens (I haven’t a fucking clue why). So, I had to settle for a shitty McDouble. And you know what? The bun was stale as shit and the fries were colder than North Dakota in January.

Did I shoot anybody? No. Did I want to? No, but would busting off a few stress-reliving shots into the air make me feel better? You’re damn right it would.

Going forward, McDonald’s should start investing in shooting ranges inside the restaurant. They fuck up your order and you get a free shot at a target. You release that anger towards the staff, and nobody is in danger of getting shot. It’s a win win for everybody. Oh, and then you get new fries, super-sized on the house if you hit the bullseye. Is super-sizing still a thing?

I mean, look at this lady’s face. Is this the face of a cold-blooded, armed robber? I don’t know, maybe. Is it the sad face of someone that got cold fries at McDonald’s? Looks a lot like that to me…

A kitchen with a sink and a toaster oven

A beer bottle on a dock


A beer bottle on a dock