Ladies and gentleman, after dozens and dozens of Florida stories, too numerous to count, if brings me the sincerest of pleasure to finally bring you a story from my very hometown… Dixon, Illinois.
An Illinois woman, whose name I won’t mention because somebody from home will read it and then it’ll get back to my mom and then she’ll call me and it’ll be a whole thing, was arrested yesterday for driving around town with an inflatable pool on the roof of her car. So… what’s the problem? Oh yeah, her two kids were in it…
According to KMOV, police got a tip that somebody was driving around in an Audi with their kids on top of the car. When they finally pulled her over, she claimed that they were in the pool to “hold it down.” Apparently, she drove to a friends house to inflate the pool, but didn’t put too much thought into how she was going to get it home. Her brilliant idea, put it on the roof and put her two daughters in it.
She was charged with two counts of endangering the health or life of a child and two counts of reckless conduct.
You tell me a bunch of drunk frat guys got arrested for throwing a kiddie pool on top their dad’s Prius and I wouldn’t think twice, but somehow, this woman, a sober woman, did this on purpose? And if you’re thinking this is a small town, she was probably just going down the street, she wasn’t. She was driving down a 4-lane highway with a 70mph speed limit. Plus, it doesn’t even look like she tied the thing down. You tie the thing down, throw Jr. in the back, tell him to lay his ass down and not move while we crawl a block or two back home, then maybe, MAYBE, I could see this as a plausible idea. Definitely NOT what happened here.
On the bright side, jails are pretty nice in Dixon. I went there once in high school. I didn’t do it. Anyways…
My hometown folks. God bless it.
