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World’s Worst Date Publicly Humiliates Guy For Trying To Take Her To Applebee’s

Where in the hell do you get off running down Applebee’s lady?

First of all, you suck. You just do.

Maybe he doesn’t have that fancy steakhouse money, maybe he really likes Applebee’s, maybe he thinks you’d enjoy a $1 vodka raspberry lemonade because they’re pretty fucking awesome and only cost a buck, maybe he wants to save up now with a very reasonably priced, yet still pretty damn good, meal for two so that he can give you the finer things later in life, or maybe he has no money because his grandmother is dying of cancer and he spends all he has on her treatment and even Applebee’s will overextend him but he wanted to do the best he could for you, so maybe you should politely fuck off for being such a garbage human being.

I mean, let’s break this thing down right quick…

Let me guess… your “shop” is some type of Etsy “shop” where you makes shitty costume jewelry or homemade face scrubs out of old coffee grounds, or maybe you graduated up to some MLM company where your constantly telling your friends how much money they could make if they started selling the same shit you are. Your house is a dump on the verge of foreclosure, which is ironic because that’s exactly how you got it, not to mention, you split the cost with 3 of your equally shitty friends. Your BMW is a 1o-year-old POS-Class with a rat’s nest in the engine that you only drive because you’re as shallow as a shower, and stocks? Doing an online Investopedia simulation for 6 months before you spring for a few shares of the the 5-cent stock they offer to all the employees at the last remaining Blockbuster in the entire world doesn’t mean you have stocks and finally, I guaran-fucking-tee you, you cannot “buy” Applebee’s.

Bullet dodged, Applebee’s is amazing, and like the comment said, you ain’t shit.

That being said, I think I’ll go to Applebee’s.

Whiskey Riff is the most entertaining country site…ever.