Kraft Introduces “Salad Frosting” (A Ranch Dressing Capri Sun) To Trick Kids Into Eating More Vegetables

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Good one Kraft… super clever.

Kraft is helping parents lie to their kids in an effort to trick them into eating more vegetables. Their new “salad frosting” is actually just a fun, squeezable pouch of ranch dressing, but they’re thinking the bright colors and the new name might be a way to kids to eat something besides chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese.

“Innocent lies parents tell their kids help alleviate the pressures of everyday parenting, and if it gets kids to eat their greens, so be it,” says Sergio Eleuterio, head of marketing for Kraft. “Simple innocent lies are not only part of parenthood, but a true tactic used by parents everywhere. Kraft Salad ‘Frosting’ is one lie you won’t feel bad telling your kids.”

Jeez Sergio… innocent lies?

Where did we go wrong in the world to get major food companies asking parents to lie to their kids? Way to build a foundation of trust and respect in the developmental stages of a parenting, AKA, the most crucial. I mean, when you can’t even trust the people that make Oreos anymore, who can you trust?

But, that being said, you know who this is really for don’t you? Grown-ass adults like me that have been dying for a portable, easy-to-use ranch receptacle so I can shovel that creamy ranch goodness straight down my throat.

It’s basically a Capri Sun of ranch dressing. the hell with the kids, I’m going to need a case.

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A beer bottle on a dock