If you find yourself in the wrong house in the middle of the night, might as well help yourself to a bottle of wine while you’re there. And that’s just what this Nashville woman did.
According to WKRN, a Nashville resident walked into her kitchen at 3:30 AM and saw a woman passed out on the floor, beside an empty bottle of wine and some food wrappers that the woman had apparently helped herself to once she got inside. I guess she figured if she was going to jail anyway, she might as well enjoy herself first?
The resident tried to wake the woman, who did not know where she was and “appeared to be under the influence of an intoxicant.” Now I’m not a detective, but you’d think the empty wine bottle would have given that away.
The best part of the story, though, is that the resident of the house managed to get the wine thief’s cell phone number – by telling the drunk woman that she needed her number to get her a ride. I’m guessing that logic probably wouldn’t work on a sober person, but after you’ve already had a bottle of wine and passed out on a stranger’s kitchen floor, you’re probably not thinking as clearly as you usually would.
The resident then gave the cell phone number to the police, who were then able to track down the burglar and arrest her for aggravated burglary.
Now, I have questions. Why did the police have to use this woman’s cell phone number to track her down? Did this resident really just find a woman passed out drunk in her kitchen floor and call her an Uber back to her house? Hell, just give her some more snacks and let her sleep it off in your kitchen floor until the cops show up.
The police also reported that the resident had left her back door unlocked, but that the burglar would have had to have jumped a fence to get to the door. It doesn’t sound like this is a case of somebody just getting shitfaced and accidentally walking into the wrong house. So did this woman just run out of wine and get desperate when the liquor stores were closed at 3:30 AM? Was she looking to take something else and just got distracted by the wine?
This is why they tell you that nothing good happens after midnight. Sure, sometimes you manage to make it home safe, but other times you end up passed out in the floor of a stranger’s home at 3:30 AM after drinking a bottle of stolen wine.
Whiskey Riff is the most entertaining country site…ever.