Michigan College Kid Tells Police He Stole A Taco Truck Because “He’s A Dumb*ss”

You gotta appreciate the self-awareness.

According to the Morning Sun, 21-year-old Zachary Jenkins was arrested this past weekend after the owner of a food truck saw Jenkins hop behind the wheel and drive away. Jenkins told police that he had been drinking at Marty’s Bar in Mt. Pleasant, Michigan, and then later drank more at his girlfriend’s home before he stole the Walking Taco food truck at approximately 3 in the morning. When police pulled him over, sparks were flying from the grill that he was dragging behind the truck.

He initially blew a .18 BAC level and was eventually charged with Operating While Intoxicated, High BAC, Property Damage of between $1,000-$20,000 and Theft of a Motor Vehicle. When officers asked for a statement, he said “I’m a dumbass.”

Man, what’s it fee like to drink all day and still be up at 3am? I sure miss those days.

The look on his face really says it all though. Have you ever seen a sadder, more hopeless look in your entire life? Young kid, studying at Central Michigan University, bright future ahead of him and for some reason, he gets the drunken idea to steal a food truck, one with a grill attached to it, and drive it down the street until he crashed it. Something tells me he might miss a few classes after this one.

When the dust settles and the smoke clears, cops ask him what the fuck he was thinking and all he can muster in that idiot brain of his is, “I’m a dumbass.” Yes, Zach, you are. A big fucking dumbass.

Maybe just go to Taco Bell at 3am like a normal college kid. Sure you might get punched in the face, but at least you can’t drive away with the store.

Whiskey Riff is the most entertaining country site…ever.