Meanwhile in Scotland…
To be honest, I’ve always been surprised that this has never happened to me. All the times I’ve stumbled home blackout drunk, how did I end up in my own bed every single time? Quite miraculous actually. Anyways, for this wholesome young Scottish lad, he wasn’t quite as lucky… except he totally was.
After drunkenly breaking into a stranger’s house on his way home from a party, helping himself to the kitchen for some noodles, he woke up on the couch in front of the absolute nicest people on planet Earth. Can i fix you breakfast? Fancy a cup of tea? Care for a fag? (that means cigarette over there). Like I said, the nicest people on planet Earth. In Chicago, you wake up on someone’s couch, you wake up in the afterlife because they shot you in the fucking face. We need some of that good Scottish hospitality over here.
Oh, and thank God for subtitles… can’t understand a fucking word of this lad’s English.