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Tennessee Woman Steals Walmart Shopping Scooter, Drives It To Waffle House For Coffee

Tennessee, Waffle House, Walmart… this story hits the trifecta of a good Southern arrest story.

According to Fox News, a Tennessee woman was arrested for stealing an electric scooter from Walmart and then driving it on the highway to Waffle House. Sally Selby entered the Walmart around 4:15 a.m., got into the scooter and did her shopping, however after leaving the store, she zipped around the parking lot before jumping onto Highway 127.

Selby said she was driving to a Waffle House to get a cup of coffee and that the scooter belonged to her.

The scooter was eventually returned to Walmart and Selby was arrested for theft.

I mean, Waffle House is good, but it isn’t steal a scooter from Walmart, good. She doesn’t exactly look like she’s the sharpest knife in the drawer, but then again, I could see myself walking into a Walmart at 4am, drunk off my ass looking for snacks, think hopping on the handicap scooter is a good idea, and then thinking I’m drunk as fuck and could use some coffee and so why don’t I just drive this thing over to the the Waffle House down the road and I’ll come right back… no big deal.

Except, it is a big deal, a very big deal, a “you have the right to remain silent” kind of big deal.

Sally learned that the hard way.

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A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock