Spraying Axe Into Your Mouth Will Not Help You Get Out Of A DUI

Is there anything worse than being around somebody who’s wearing too much Axe body spray?

We probably all knew that guy in college or high school who thought that Axe body spray was a substitute for a shower (it’s not), or the guy who thought it was a good idea to bathe in it before going to the bar (it’s not). I mean, does that really work? Has any guy EVER met a girl because he smelled like he fell in a pool of Axe body spray? The answer is no.

Well, according to The State newspaper in South Carolina, a Spartanburg man tried to cover up the alcohol on his breath by spraying Axe body spray in his mouth during a traffic stop. Now I’m not a cop, but if somebody is spraying Axe into their mouth, it’s pretty safe to assume they’re shitfaced.

Oh, and one other small problem with this plan – Axe body spray contains fucking alcohol.

The officer found 11 open beers on the passenger floorboard and after failing multiple field sobriety tests, the man was eventually arrested. He also blew a .15 on the breathalyzer, nearly twice the legal limit.

Now, this driver wasn’t some college bro – he was fucking 49 years old. There is absolutely no reason for a 49-year old to have Axe body spray to begin with. Hell, there’s no reason for ANYBODY to have Axe body spray. If the word “douchebag” had a smell, it would be Axe body spray.

Now that we know it’s not going to get you out of a DUI and has no actual uses, just go ahead and ditch the Axe all together. Everybody who has to be in your presence will thank you.

Whiskey Riff is the most entertaining country site…ever.