If You Can’t Be Beer Pong Partners With Them, You Shouldn’t Date Them

A group of red candles on a wood surface

The weather is warming.

That means more drinking games. More tailgates. More excuses to act way younger than your age and embarrass yourself because you can’t handle your alcohol like you once could.

One of those games you might be playing half-blind for St. Pat’s is beer pong. A classic. A game about confidence and your partner not fucking up. You should always want the person you’re dating/with to be your partner. If either one of you can’t handle the pressure, how will you handle marriage and a baby and a puppy? You won’t. Facts.

You need to see the best, and worst, in that person. Being beer pong partners answers a lot of questions about the relationship.

A row of colorful cans

– Can I put up with this person being way too competitive?

– Can I handle this person getting angry at my terrible shot?

– Can I control my angry/smart-ass outbursts and bring the team back to the game plan?

– Does this person have a Michael Jordan killer instinct to finish an opponent as one would in Mortal Kombat?

– Does this person handle their booze well?

– Does this person pick up the slack when the other team member is shitting the bed?

– Does this person get better as they get drunker (very important)?

– Does this person learn from a loss and bounce back, or sit in the corner crying like a little baby?

– How much fun do you have with this person? Simply put, do you genuinely enjoy being around them (especially when day drinking)?

– Does this person have a “comeback” attitude, rallying from the dark depths of defeat only to drain some clutch shots?

– Does this person put off the good vibes to make me better at draining shots?

– Can this person hit the last cup – a metaphor for life symbolizing your back against the wall and unmatched pressure to succeed.

All this shit matters, actually. If you can’t stand playing a game (a great game) with that person, maybe they ain’t right. Find you that person you want to be beer pong partners with, and you found yourself something special.

Now, let the day drinking commence.

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock