Wisconsin Teen Puts Cow Tranquilizers In Stepdad’s Energy Drinks To Be “Funny,” Goes To Jail

A man with a surprised expression

Just trying to be “funny” huh.

According to the NY Daily News, Tyler Rabenhorst-Malone, 17, allegedly put cow tranquilizers in his dairy farmer stepdad’s energy drinks to be “funny,” but not to hurt him. Dumb shit.

Nice goof. He looks like he just shit himself after being charged with “placing foreign objects in edibles and second-degree recklessly endangering safety.”

I’ve taken too much of an edible before and thought it was a cow tranquilizer after the fact, but it wasn’t. It was just me living on Pluto. I digress…

A kitchen with a sink and a toaster oven

The stepdad went to the hospital last year with a droopy face, slurred speech and heavy breathing – they told him to get rest, and lay off the energy drinks.

According to a complaint obtained from ABC13, the kid’s mom and stepdad reported that a box of oxytocin mixed with rompun was missing from their barn in April 2018.

Once the stepdad started to suspect his stepson was doing something to him, he found used syringes that he thought Rabenhorst-Malone was using to put the cattle sedative in his drinks, according to the complaint.

Liquid saved from several of Rabenhorst-Malone’s stepdad’s drinks tested positive for the cattle sedative.

I love Wisconsin, but this is almost too Wisconsin. Kid probably hates his stepdad, who happens to be a dairy farmer (of course), so the kid starts poisoning him with tranquilizers used on cows giving birth.

It writes itself.

Photo credit: ABC13