According to Newsweek, police are on the hunt for a 50-year-old woman on the loose at Towson University in Maryland after she was repeatedly seen on campus, bothering students in search of a date for her son.
Students say the woman, who wore a multi-colored scarf, approached them in two campus buildings, the Cook Library and Center for the Arts. She would show them images of her son on her phone and asked if they would be interested in going out with him.
The police department shared surveillance footage of the woman and is asking for any information relating to her identity.
Let’s be honest, the only person that can identify this woman is her horrified son… and he isn’t saying a fucking thing. On the scale of “I tripped in public” to “please just kill me right here,” this is pretty much as bad as it gets. I imagine this poor bastard is pretty young, still trying to figure out his place in the world, still navigating the social awkwardness to talking to girls and now he’s got to deal with the fact that his lunatic mother is loose on campus, harassing students with photos of him in a desperate plea to find him a date.
I would rather shit my pants in class than have my own mother running around campus. In fact, when I went to college, I didn’t even tell my mom where it was. She knew the school and the city, but no fucking way she was getting an address.