A -50 Windchill Builds Character

A person wearing a mask and holding a banana

Last week I tweeted the following…

Little did I realize we had a Polar Vortex coming to wipe us all out this week. On Wednesday, the windchill in Chicago is going to be -50, with a high of -13. We’re a couple degrees away from setting the record for coldest day in Chicago’s history.

That will make Chicago colder than Mount Everest, Antarctica, and Siberia. Nice!

The cold builds character. It does. Those folks out in LA have it great year-round. Warm, sunny, not a piece of salt on the ground ever. They don’t have the toughness or spirit of a Midwesterner chugging along in the -50 windchill as their cheeks turn purple from frostbite.

A kitchen with a sink and a toaster oven

Your nose falling off on your 12 minute walk to work sounds shitty, but it what? That’s right – builds character. It builds an appreciation for three nice months a year here. My beard broke off this morning walking to the gym – you think I care? No shits given. Nature is a bad MF’er and we’re at its mercy.

That’s character-building. Toughness. Being so miserably cold and angry you want to cry in the fetal position while listening to an acoustic playlist is good for you. Much cheaper than a therapist, too.

Walking to work SHOULD look like the Rocky IV training montage in the Soviet Union. It keeps things interesting, and it keeps office talk streamlined to only complaining about how cold it is. It also provides all of us with the opportunity to brag about it being colder where we live, compared to where you live. I know how excited you are to post your Instagram Story tomorrow showing the temperature.

Be safe out there. Stay warm (haha). And let the character-building commence.

Photo by Bilgin S. Sasmaz/Anadolu Agency/Getty Images

A beer bottle on a dock


A beer bottle on a dock